Consider the birds

… an antidote to anxiety

Photo by Marta Dzedyshko on Pexels.com

I have been waiting for some good news from certain quarters. And that good news has been taking its sweet time to come. I have been feeling like Daniel when he was waiting for an answer to prayer only to be told that the answer was released immediately he prayed but some principalities fought whoever was bringing the answers.

“Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words…But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me 21 days; and behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left alone there with the kings of Persia.” (Daniel 10:12-13)

In the meantime I have been overthinking, overanalysing, worrying, anxious.It’s interesting that this has been in a span when I had “homework” from my writer’s group to write about anxiety.

I remember all the times I have struggled with anxiety.

Fresh from college I was at this job where sometimes I made just enough for rent. It’s hard to tell someone who doesn’t know how they are gonna eat or ride home not to worry. I would toss my financial problems in my head and wrack my brains until I got a headache.

Then I meditated on Matthew 6:25-34.

“Who of you by worrying can add a single moment to their lives?

“So, I tell you, don’t worry about every day life – whether you have enough food, drink and clothes. Doesn’t life consist of more than food and clothing? Look at the birds… Your heavenly father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than birds… If God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won’t he more surely care for you? You have so little faith.

“So don’t worry about having enough food or drink or clothing… You’ve heavenly father already knows ALL your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.”I chewed on this word until I unlearned to worry. I would not worry, not because my problems had evaporated, but because God told me not to worry. Instead of meditating on my problems I would meditate on the word of God.

You know what? God taught me to patiently wait on him and he provided for my needs. I ate for free at five-star joints (I happened to cover a lot of functions that we’re hosting a breakfast, lunch or dinner) and I never walked home for lack of bus fare. In fact I remember one day I sat on a bench near GPO and right at my feet was a sh100 note. Suddenly I had bus fare. Soon enough God gave me a job with good pay.

Struggles with anxiety have kept popping up over the years.

When I was wearing my blood vessels thin worrying if I will have a safe pregnancy and delivery, I remembered that I have no control over that. So I told God all my worries and prayed then rested in His Providence.

When I was worrying myself sick wondering if I had caught Covid, God reminded me that He is my keeper. I have never been the one to sustain my one life.

Lately when I have been tempted to worry to almost developing a peptic ulcer over where school fees or money to pay off a debt will come from, I have been encouraged by the verse in Philippians 4:6 “Don’t worry about anything. Instead pray about EVERYTHING. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. If you do this you will experience God’s peace.”

1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all our cares to God for he is concerned about us.

Every time I have felt my faith dwindle regarding all the good plans God has for me, I have meditated on all the verses that tell me that I am precious and loved, that God has me on the palm of his hands, that not one of His words will fall to the ground void, that He is with me wherever I go, that I am his sheep and He is my shepherd; I am His business.

I realise that my struggles with anxiety have never been about doubting God’s power. I know beyond doubt God is able to do more than I could ever imagine. But I have doubted his goodness towards me and his willingness to act on my behalf. I have felt as if He is malicious or unconcerned despite every promise in Scripture that tells me otherwise.

My anxiety really is a lack of trust in who God says He is. I know that in His sovereignty, God will do what He wills. And I fail to trust that when a God who is sovereign does whatever He pleases, it will be for my good. I feel like a really small blob in a tiny far away planet in a far flung galaxy in the middle of an infinitely vast universe. Why would God be bothered about me and my puny worries and requests?

Yet because God has told me to tell him my requests in prayer and to rest in that I have prayed. He will answer prayer. My faith, though faltering at times, still is in God.God has told me to trust him; to trust his goodness, trust his heart, trust his purposes for me, trust his plans, that they are good, trust that those who put their trust in Him will never be put to shame, or be shaken.

Most clearly he’s told me not to worry about daily provisions. Mkate… chai… nguo… those things… Man is not sustained by bread but by the Word of God. At his word even dry bones can live again.

When I’m anxious, I listen to God’s word. I pick my Bible and glean for faith. I go to my favourite sermons and they stir up my faith. I pray. Telling God anxieties is obedience. I keep busy. I go for long walks or lift something heavy. Exercising has proved great for my anxiety.

I listen to songs that stir up the warrior in me and lull the worrier; they are my “fight songs”.

Finally I am able to walk through the valley of the shadow, fearing no evil. For His rod and staff – they comfort me.

The God who sees me

The God who sees me

When words are not enough to speak what’s breaking my heart

When tears are clouding my eyes and I keep blinking to hide them

There’s a God who truly sees me

He sees my heart.

Embarrassed to voice out some prayers

Feeling like I am expecting too much yet deserving too little

Yet there is a God who truly sees me

He sees me with my racing thoughts.He sees each dark secret, each haunting fear

Each failure, every anxiety, judgement and criticism that breaks me

There is a God who truly seesHe sees my past.

He sees every tag I have placed on myself

Every wound that keeps me from moving on

He sees every quirk, every imperfection

Every passion and scared dream

At his feet I feel seen

The eyes of the God of the universe are on lowly me

There is a God who truly sees me.The God of the universe,

The God who sees every flower and blade of grass, every sparrow and hair on my head

Who’s inscribed my name on the palm of his hand

Who did not hold back his only son

But freely gave him up for me

He sees me.

Did God misspell favour?

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

Reading Joseph’s account in Genesis 39 makes you want to claim the kind of favour he had with God. He succeeded in everything he did because the Lord was with Him.

Genesis 39:2-6 says: “The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded in everything he did as he served in the home of his Egyptian master. 3 Potiphar noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did. 4 This pleased Potiphar, so he soon made Joseph his personal attendant. He put him in charge of his entire household and everything he owned. 5 From the day Joseph was put in charge of his master’s household and property, the Lord began to bless Potiphar’s household for Joseph’s sake. All his household affairs ran smoothly, and his crops and livestock flourished. 6 So Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility over everything he owned.

With Joseph there, he didn’t worry about a thing—except what kind of food to eat!

Then verse 22 and 23: “Before long, the warden put Joseph in charge of all the other prisoners and over everything that happened in the prison. 23 The warden had no more worries, because Joseph took care of everything. The Lord was with him and caused everything he did to succeed.”

What glorious success. We all want God’s hand upon us, granting us victory wherever we go.

At a closer look, however, we see what the Bible calls success and God’s hand on Joseph is not what we would call success. Joseph was still smarting from rejection and betrayal by his own family. He was a 17-year-old in slavery in a foreign country, separated from those who loved him. In verse 22, he was in prison and still a slave through no fault of his own, falsely accused by his master’s wife, undefended by a boss he had served too well. But God was with Joseph.

How was God with Joseph? He gave him favour with people. Joseph succeeded in everything he did. God blessed those around him for his sake. His affairs ran smoothly. His work flourished. God gave him wisdom to interpret dreams. God gave him a heart for those he served in prison. God gave him favour in prison and the warden put him in charge. He emerges as a smart, hardworking, sympathetic, caring, responsible and humble leader.

We think God’s favour and success from his hand should look a certain way. Certainly, Joseph at 30 and in prison in a foreign country didn’t seem to be making it. He was single, alone, had no physical prosperity and those who should have helped him betrayed or forgot about him. I can bet discouragement was a constant companion for 13 years, especially when set against the backdrop of the dreams of his youth.

My Genesis BSF notes point out that long term victory can feel and look like short term defeat. Sometimes winning can feel like losing. God’s favour may not be spelt money in the bank or easy living. But when God’s hand is upon us, people will notice it. “Tell the righteous it is well with them.”

I heard someone complain how years of faithful work have not resulted in financial gain; I wanted to point out that God had given him a godly heritage, a good name, national influence and a harvest of souls in the kingdom of God. How much money would ever buy such favour?

The Bible warns us to expect suffering, and especially suffering for doing good. Even Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.”

Does suffering negate God’s work in us and through us? Does suffering mean we are not #blessed? And what if relief doesn’t come? What if healing doesn’t come? What if there is no breakthrough in this life?We know the pit was Joseph’s highway to the palace. Serving Potiphar trained him for his future role as Prime Minister. The dungeon made him a sympathetic leader, full of faith. In God’s bigger picture, Joseph was winning even when he didn’t see it.

May be it’s time we prayed that our eyes be opened wider to the inner workings of God at those times when we can’t see beyond the pit or prison, the fiery furnace or the vast army surrounding us. As long as God is with us as He was with Joseph, we know we are making it. Success=God is with me. Stay woke.

Make room for God’s counsel

Make room for God

I know times I have encouraged myself, and other people, that in the day of trouble, God is gonna show up; that all we need to do is call and God will answer.

Doesn’t God tell us to call in the day of calamity and he will deliver?

Doesn’t Psalm 91 say that he will keep the plague from our tent?

It does. For those who fear his name.

In Proverbs 1,God admonishes the simple, those who are wishy washy about his laws.Those that he called and they refused to listen to his voice. They ignored his counsel. They did not take his reproof. “I stretched my hand and no one heeded.”

God therefore says he will laugh when calamity strikes them. They wil call and he will not answer.

Vs 24-28 “Because I have called and you refused to listen,have stretched out my hand and no one has heeded,because you have ignored all my counsel and would have none of my reproof,I also will laugh at your calamity;I will mock when terror strikes you,when terror strikes you like a storm and your calamity comes like a whirlwind,when distress and anguish come upon you.Then they will call upon me, but I will not answer;they will seek me diligently but will not find me.”

This is the punishment for those who hate knowledge and who do not choose the fear of the Lord, who despise his correction and do not take his counsel.

Today, don’t turn away from God. Make room for God’s word and God’s correction. Listen to his counsel. Then in the day of trouble, you will call and he will deliver. You will dwell secure, without fear of disaster.

Vs 33 “But whoever listens to me will dwell SECURE and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.”

Comforted by the love of Jesus

I watched a video of singer Size 8 on an operating table, fighting for her life and that of her unborn baby, at a time of unimaginable physical, spiritual and mental stress, yet singing “Yes, Jesus loves me.”
I remember a similar time when God used that simple hymn for children to comfort and strengthen me.
At that point between 6cm and 10cm, when physical reserves are being pushed to their extremes, when body and spirit are crying out, “Lord, save me” from pain from another world, when I’m beyond the fight and have surrendered to the ravages of childbirth, I found myself singing, ‘Yes, Jesus loves me.”

Every mother walks that thin line between life and death, despair and hope every time they try to bring forth life. Giving life and dying go hand in hand. I guess it’s why motherhood changes you.
At a salon last week some ladies were discussing an unfortunate incident of a young girl who got pregnant.
“Let her give birth; she will now have a reason for working hard,” was the summarising wisdom from one of the ladies.
Motherhood was bound to rewire her. Every woman I have heard flying to near-servitude in the Middle East said she was doing it for her children. We have birth and our old selves died. Now we love for these small children.

This article is not about mothering or child birth. It’s about the love that comforts us when all our foundations are shaken. It’s about the love that pursued us when we were sinners and worn us over. I don’t know what persuaded you to become a follower of Jesus. For me, his love on the cross, that won my heart as a little girl. And that love is my rear guard when storms buffet my soul. When doubts and anxiety plague me in the middle of the night. His love comforts me.

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.”
Philippians 2:1‭-‬2 NIV

Our encouragement comes from being United with Christ and we are comforted in his love.
If we have any hope, no matter what storms are buffeting us, may it be in the love of Jesus.
Yes, Jesus loves me. No matter the body shattering pain I’m in, no matter the state of my balance sheet, my marriage, my mental wellness, yes Jesus loves me. May this truth be a fortress for our souls.