Where to take your heart when life hurts

prayer

In the last two months, I have thrice found myself dealing with that raw heart feeling that comes with being hurt, losing something I loved or wanted or getting rejected by someone whose approval mattered to me.

The feeling is almost as if someone crushed my chest and left me with a gaping wound that leaves me feeling breathless, tearless, restless; the kind of feeling that makes you want to go for a run up Ngong Hills or for a fast drive towards Namanga, then you remember your life sucks too much at the moment for such strain or pleasure.

In the past when hurt I would lash out at those who hurt me, especially with icy words that in my mind helped me gain back ground. However, in the big picture, this lost me relationships and got me labeled as mean girl. I hated being that vengeful vicious mean-spirited person. Then I begun building these high walls that I felt kept me safe from further pain. I shut myself in. You can’t hurt someone who doesn’t care. And I tell you I can stop caring. I can build a wall so high it becomes impossible to bring it down even when I need to. But again these high walls kept me lonely and unapproachable and aloof and kept people out. People know I was keeping them out and moved on to more meaningful friendships/ relationships. I hated being that person, again.

So how do I deal with hurts and disappointments and rejection while still remaining peaceful and real? I lay them bare at the feet of Christ. I process those feelings as raw and childish as they are and explain them to my saviour. I tell him how I am feeling, why I am hurt or disappointed or angry that things happened the way they did and what I would really have wished for.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit helps me see the vanity, lack of trust, lack of forgiveness or pride in my heart. Most times though I just trade in my pain for God’s peace. I let him take over the burden of dealing with those who hurt me or disappointed me and I walk away from that tearful prayer time with my heart ok. My circumstances have not changed, rejection is still as real as it was 15 minutes earlier, but my heart is fine. As God’s sweet waves of love sweep over my soul, I am reminded that I am loved, that I matter, that God’s plans for me are to bring me a hope and a future, that God is working all things for my good, that God is perfect in all his ways, that his love for me is so wide I could never ever fathom it.

You can choose peace instead of bitterness, depression and dejection when life hurts. God graciously exchanges our sorrow for his joy, our pain for his grace and peace and insufficiency  for trust when we, in surrender, lay all things at His feet. He daily bears our burdens.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Where to take your heart when life hurts

  1. arthurbuliva says:

    Bree you have no idea how timely this message is to me. Thanks for confirming what The Lord has been telling me. I just didn’t know how to handle certain situations either but I am certain that now my heart is at peace. Be blessed!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s