Help! My husband hates my clothes

Actress Gabrielle Union.

There’s this show that comes on TLC called Your Style in His Hands. Basically, a husband gets the chance to throw away all the clothes, accessories and shoes he would rather never see his wife in, ever again, and gets money to shop for her a whole new wardrobe, with a little help from stylists.

Of course I love that show. I love any makeover show, be it fashion, homes or food.

In one of the episodes, the man got rid of all the clothes his wife owned save for four or so pieces and two pairs of boots.
The lady was heartbroken on seeing what was left of her wardrobe. It didn’t help that she hated the new clothes he shopped for her as she felt they did not reflect the realities of her life. How on earth was she going to chase after horses and run a farm in stilettos and beachy dresses? But the man had spoken. He was tired of seeing her in jeans after jeans after jeggings. He wanted the sexy woman he dated in college. Oh, the distance between men’s imagination and reality!

I would be curious to nominate my husband Mr M for a similar show. Something tells me I would find my entire wardrobe gone.
You see, I’m that person whose sense of fashion is mostly practical and sometimes dictated by feelings? I dress for me. I’m feeling blue; I will dress like I am headed to a funeral.
I walk around a lot also, and I have wide feet, hence I buy a lot of flat shoes. I love comfort so you will hardly see me in pinching shoes or those that make me strain.

The fabric of my clothes needs to be comfortable (I itch easily) and the clothes need to be practical and to not draw too much attention to me. Practical is rarely sexy. And not drawing attention often equals drab.

Between getting kids ready or off me and wiping off snot and porridge from my clothes, I do not have much time to stay at the mirror or in the salon. A huge mistake. See,I do not want to be that drab and boring wife, though my sense of fashion and priorities may make me that.

I have recently tried to make my practical to look chic but hey, khakis, sandals and a coloured top can only go so far, no matter what top designer Karl Lagerfeld says.

Pinterest

 

Pinterest has been amazingly helpful on this front, helping me realign my dress sense so I don’t become too momsy. Ever heard of the rule of threes?

The rule of threes
 
See what I am talking about? These pinners inspire me.

I love that yellow skirt.

Isn’t she lovely?

I might just rock rugged jeans.

I might even get the courage to rock these:

Summer look.
How to wear a cargo jacket.

Here are my boards, which are challenging me to take my game a notch or five higher.

 Chic and fun wardrobe
Chic African wear/kitenge

Does my hubby love all my clothes. Oh, no.
We’ve had days when he makes me change just when I’m about to leave the door. I am thankful that after five years of marriage he has the boldness to tell em, “That doesn’t look good on you,” instead of walking around sulking cos he hates my clothes.

The first time he suggested he might not like something I wore, I walked around sulking for days. Then it hit me: I should be happy he cares enough to say it.

Because of my love and respect for him, if he doesn’t approve of an item, most times I will not be comfortable wearing it; so I remove it. Even if I wear it that day, I am unlikely to wear it again.

I have tried to take him shopping with me so he pre-approves the clothes before I buy but this is not always practical. So there are clothes I have won once, and others haven’t left our bedroom door. I hope that doesn’t signify my dress sense is that horrible 🙂

Fact is — I want to stay attractive to my husband. I want him to think me hot. I want him to be proud walking next to me. I want him to say, “Hey, that’s my gal,” when he sees me at a distance.

Therefore, I am willing to bend over backwards a bit to dress how he likes me. It tells him I am thinking about him and care about him.
I know he has stopped wearing a certain checked shirt that does him no good, and  a grey T-shirt he loves; but I hate.

Some people may think that as giving too much control to a man. True. But really, the two reasons (well, three) we dress up is to be functional, to feel good about ourselves and to make others feel good about us. Besides God, Mr M is the other person whose opinion I value and cherish. He is the person on earth I would like to please. He is the person who will spend the longest time of my life with me; so I would like to dress in a way he finds attractive. Why should I dress to impress strangers or me when the person who matters most remains unimpressed?

 Men are visual. My husband will point out clothes he finds attractive on other women when we are walking on the street. I would like to help him find that attractiveness not too far away- right in his home. Why does he have to go to town to see a short skirt, if that’s what he likes?

Maid at home

Reality is that since mostly he see me at home, his vision of me might end up being of oversize t-shirts, leggings and head scarfs.
Is that what I want my husband to think about when he looks at me? No.
I’m a being vain? May be. I’m hardly the person defined by the clothes I wear. I’ve lived to get people to see beyond my face, make up (or lack of it), hair and clothes.
But I discovered that knowing I look like a million shillings does wonderful things to me inside; I feel good about myself when I look good.
Looking my best in public also does reflect on our family’s “brand”, as Mr M puts it.

I am still working on trying to look half the part when we are at home and in the bedroom. May be that dress that “shrunk” after I bought it can find use when the bedroom doors are closed.

I know our fashion tastes clash. There are pieces I love that he threatens to throw away. May be this article will give him the confidence to so so. At the end of the day, all I am interested in is a happier us.

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10 thoughts on “Help! My husband hates my clothes

  1. Bree says:

    Trust me has an opinion. If he does not offer it, just ask: Do you like me better in this or that? Or when you see a woman say on TV whose clothes you like, ask him: “Do you like that?” Slowly you will get insights.

    Like

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